We can love others only as much as we are able to love and accept ourselves.

Selflessness - Genuine or Strained?

Selfless services span a continuum of giving. One extreme might see selfless giving as genuine, authentic, a charitable act of unconditional love and compassion-in-action embodied and expressed in spiritual saints epitomized by larger than life figures like Mother Teresa, Gandhi and Jesus.

At the other end of this spectrum are acts of giving tied to conditions with expectation for return, often powered by unfulfilled needs for recognition, approval and acceptance or bound to a deep sense of duty and obligation. The pretense of “selfless devotion to another's care” when not grounded in values, or supported by heart-centered awareness, is misdirected and may backfire negatively and compromise the caregiver’s own state of health and wellbeing.

While the goal of the giving may have merit, the motivation embedded in the caregiving act, may be perceived and felt by the receiver and be counterproductive.

Balance Caregiving with Self-care

Caregiving can be inspired and illuminated or tedious and wearing and run the gamut of every sentiment in between. To be sustainable, caregiving must be balanced with effective selfcare practices.

The intention, goal plus desire, that motivates the caregiving action can be perceived and felt by the receiver.

If caregivers sacrifice and neglect themselves in the process, fatigue can lead to resentment and a host of associated feelings that create barriers to healing, including:

• guilt
• shame
• regret and
• feelings of unworthiness.

A commitment to self care is key!

Self-honesty and the courage to speak their truth (openly and honestly), both the givers and the receivers, is critical in creating rapport and a relationship of trust – so important to healing.

The ability to transcend attachments – the human need to grasp, cling and possess, is reflective of our sense of balance and wholeness.

Love and acceptance of self is cultivated through reflective practice that balances:

• effort and recovery
• giving and receiving
• self and other.

Gratitude, Appreciation and Forgiveness

Gratitude, appreciation, forgiveness are mindfulness practices that help us develop our ability to centre, ground and see clearly. In the process, we learn to:

• attune to our feelings
• recognize and honour our strengths
• acknowledge patterns of thought and limiting beliefs and
• learn to make choices that help us align our actions with deep seated core values.

Life coaching can help with this process. The heart is the seat of compassion and compassion is at the heart of healing whether healing yourself or helping others.

Learning to

• ground
• be heart-centred
• be mindful and self-aware
• embrace the moment and all that is

The World is Your Mirror

Aligning oneself with the universal healing energy is to become an “instrument of healing," centered in compassion and unconditional love without judgment, to create a safe and sacred space where healing and personal growth can occur.

The practitioner’s competence is developed through ongoing study, learning and practice with skills learned transferable to everyday life.

To move towards a state of wholeness is to recover health - the most important factor in happy and balanced life.

(c) Julia von Flotow, May 17, 2011

Speak with Us

Based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, KAIZEN Lifestyle Management, specializes in life, leadership, business and lifestyle coaching and consulting services to help executives and creative professionals achieve work-life balance, navigate transitions in their lives find happiness and achieve sustainable success. Julia is also a certified holistic healer, Therapeutic Touch Recognized Teacher, Reflexologist and Reiki Master.

We can be reached by phone at 416 686 6463 or you via our online contact us form.

From Love the Heart of Healing to Wellness Services

Life Coaching Services

Therapeutic Touch Level 1 Training

About Mindfulness

Home