Face your Fears - Reclaim your PowerFear, dependency and approval is a vicious cycle – a loop that keeps you stuck and in an exhausting and unproductive, reactive pattern of being. Facing your fears, a process of self exploration, discovery and healing takes courage and self-honesty that leads to self-acceptance and empowerment. The coaching relationship helps! Assessing Fears for Evidence Whether your fears are real or imagined matters less than how you respond to them. If you think they are real your body will produce the same chemicals as if they were real. Taking time to assess the situation may help in the present, yet fears that you felt and reacted to in the past have left their mark – a response pattern lodged deep within your nervous system that patterns how you respond to similar situations today. Your Worldview Matters
Mindfulness practice,
Acknowledging this awareness as the primal dependency helps us transcend the limiting relationships that foster unhealthy dependency we experience in our social realities. Dependency Breeds Fear & the Need for Approval
As infants and young children we all experience feelings of total and utter dependence on our parents for survival. We have all had experiences that have left us with emotional and thought patterns based in fear of rejection and the need for approval to varying degrees.
We learned early in life that approval brought rewards (a smile, encouragement, favours, good food etc) and rejection or disapproval brought punishment in various forms (disappointment, judgment, discipline). The nature of these rewards and punishments, how they were used by our parents to manage behaviour, and how we responded to them created the response patterns that many of us still operate with so often reflected in misplaced need for approval by others. As we grow up, through adolescence and into adulthood, we transfer the need for approval and acceptance, we may have longed to receive from our parents, to our friends and intimate partners.
Relationships are Built on Patterns Relationships are formed and reinforced through patterns of behaviour. Denial and suppressed emotional pain due to actual experiences of rejection or fear of being rejected we may have felt, form the basis of our relationships as adults. These patterns of behaviour repeat throughout our lives until we have the courage and humility to face ourselves, acknowledge our feelings, forgive ourselves and others who may have caused us pain or grief and let go of the pain, resentment, fear and anger we may be holding. It is a healing process. Only once you are healed can you realize how much energy you had invested in the deep-seated behavioural pattern. Accept Yourself & Reclaim your Power Energy healing therapies like Therapeutic Touch or Reiki and life coaching can help you in a process of transformation and personal growth. Entering into and accepting the pain you feel as real, allows you to acknowledge it, release it and liberate yourself of the need for the approval of others. You now become empowered to live your life on your terms and no one else’s and realize that accepting responsibility for the choices you make is, in fact, the source of your empowerment. Self-Responsibility - Key to Freedom Self-responsibility is the first step towards self-empowerment and self-realization. Self-healing and coaching can help you:
Life is a journey of exploration and discovery and only you know what if feels like when you are living your life on-purpose. Your self-esteem , how you feel about yourself is self-evident - reflected in the quality of your presence. There is no hiding!
© Julia von Flotow, April, 2011
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